According to Trish

not worth reading since 2009

Month: July 2012

  • Who has herpes? This girl!

      My friend texted me the other day: “Congrats on getting herpes!” So yeah. Yeppers. Apparently I have herpes. Not herpes herpes. As in down there.  I have herpes zoster. Otherwise known as shingles. Yes, you probably know it as thing thing old people get. And I’m 40, which is “young” to get this. Who’s…

  • Gym class reject

    At a lovely party last Saturday night with some lovely friends. Chit chatting. Drink drunking. Nib nubbling. (Hey! I made a word!) Then my friend’s husband — as in, the dude hosting the par-tay — came over and asked her, “Should we play wiffle ball now?” She was all, “Suuuure.” She slouched a little more…

  • You’re probably secretly gay

    So let’s face it: You’re probably secretly gay. Or maybe not exactly gay, as in the homosexual sense, but you’re probably in the closet about something. Aren’t we all? What’s crushing you? About a year and a half ago, I was driving out to meet my darling werewolf pal Brad for a drink (I’m only half…

  • Dying alone. That’s gotta suck.

    So dying alone. That’s gotta suck. That was my thought just now. It’s Sunday night. I’ve been drinking white wine spritzers alone since, like, 4. It’s been supah awesome. If it’s true that how we act when we’re totally alone is who we really are then I guess I’m a drunk, gluttonous pervert. Go me.…