I think the issue of couse is the standards by which men and women are held. What are the standards men are help to: muscles, working a manly job (includes things like accountanting but not nursing), mowing the lawn, tight ass.

What are the standards that women are held to: everything else. This includes a clean home (even if the man is cleaning it, the woman is blamed if its not up to par), a discernable waist line after the birth of one or more children, bringing in a pay check, cooking, cleaning, laundry, christmas shopping, child care, taking out the trash, gray hair removal, cute shoes, boobs that still have a friendly relationship with gravity, sex kitten, tight ass (at least we share something!).

The comment above is correct: women were sold a lie. We should be able to do it all, right? Nope, not even close. And we feel like horrific failures if we don’t.

Supposedly, the most important thing is shared values. You value the same things, and then things fall into line. But I think things go way deeper, which is this: Our American culture is sending terrible messages to both women and men that fly in the face of evolutionary psychology. Many of the values being promoted simply don’t work in the real world.

There is the way we think things “ought to be,” and then there are the way things are. That’s the problem. People are mixing up their “oughts” with “is”.

The biggest lie to women is “You can do it all or you can have it all.” Some women give it a great shot, and some do well. Most women simply can’t have it all, just as men can’t. At least as boys we’re told that upfront.

Another issue is women today seem to not have a clue how to treat men and are dishonest about what they want. Men may say a lot of things, but for most men, what we want is a helpmate, sex, food and not to be given too much shit. Pretty simple. More important, it’s consistent.

Women on the other hand have a series of messages ingrained into them that make it difficult, if not impossible, for a contemporary man to please them. They say they want an enlightened male who will help out around the house, but really, they want a caveman who will ward off wolves, make fire, bring home fresh prey, shake pointy sticks at enemies, and shag them silly on the skins of wild beasts. I’ve never seen a man do enough housework to get a woman so turned on that she just HAD to have him right there on the freshly vacuumed floor.

Commence the hissing and spitting …

A couple of Wharton students, while doing some economics research, stumbled upon an unexpected finding: women are bitches. That’s right, we’re unhappy, miserable, anxious bitches who want the world to know it! They coined their findings The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness.

I won’t go into too many details (you could probably write this report if you are said female) but an interesting finding I took from this report is that while female happiness is decreasing…male happiness is on the rise. Because they aren’t sole providers anymore. Because more women are working outside the house and the household income has increased (not in my house but different story). Because they can now share the burden.

Women, on the other hand, shoulder it all. Work. Family. Vacation planning. Grocery shopping. Sick days. Gum in the carpet. You think of a scenario and then think of the first person you ask for help – it’s mom, never dad.

So yes, your homework assignment is perfect. Make your marriage work. Talk. Open up about what you want. Expect your spouse to be your partner, not just a burden. If you want your spouse, if you love your spouse, find a way to make it work. Otherwise, you may end up another statistic. And where’s the fun in that?

That said — if said dry spells are dragging on for a month, two months…. then it’s not circumstances, it’s excuses, and it’s time to double-down on the above homework. Now excuse while I go lock the damn bathroom door so that I can attend to the aforementioned personal groundskeeping. Now, where do I leave those hedgetrimmers…?

Love you!