Today I have decided to be moody and difficult.
It’s a good day for it. I have a nasty eye infection. It’s gross. My eyes were spewing out all kinds of spoogey gunk all weekend. They burn. For the last three days, I haven’t been able to open my left eye when I wake up in the morning because it’s been spooged shut.
I hate to admit that it was a great excuse to stay the hell home today.
People have called. I haven’t answered. I’m too busy being moody and difficult.
I get like this sometimes. I need to crawl into my little shell for a day and just … withdraw.
Why don’t you join me?
Be moody and difficult with me.
In fact, I declare today, May 7, National Moody and Difficult Day.
Do it up, people. Let ‘er rip.
Walk around with a big scowl.
Feel put out, put upon and put down.
Decide everyone is against you.
Decide you’re a big, fat losery loser.
Eat the whole kitchen.
Wear something horrible.
Watch bad TV.
Decide every person you come into contact with is stupid. And also dumb. And also poopy and yucky.
Hole up in the little bunker inside your own head and hate the world.
If you’re at work, refuse to participate in the office chitchat for the day and just sit in your cubicle looking at the upholstered walls and sighing.
Stare at the new neighbors with disdain because they were too farking loud last night during the Flyers game and they had too many people over who were too young and too good looking and too perfectly perfect in their optimism for life in general. Hate them just a little bit for being so full of possibilities.
Unleash your inner toad.
Whew, that feels good sometimes, doesn’t it?
By why I am now smiling a little bit?
I suppose being properly grumpy is, in itself, an art. And making any kind of art always feels so good.
Shit. I’m going to sign off now before I go and turn this into something happy and hopeful and ruin all of our perfectly crappy moods.
Enjoy your day.
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