Very fit woman holding an iPhone

True Story

October 11, 2018

I was looking for a stock photo of an iPhone. The woman in this picture looks so much like me I decided to go with it. #twinning  True story: Me: Hey Siri, set a timer for 10 minutes. Siri: For how long? Me: TENNNNN MINNNNUTTTTES. Siri: Calling [Name of ex-husband’s new wife, whom I blocked…

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My Very, Very Guilty Confession of When I Enabled Harassment

September 27, 2018

Trigger warning for harassment. (Obviously.) This Kavanaugh hearing … I’ve been ready to throw a brick through a window for days. But in addition the anger, I keep feeling guilt. Because one time one of my friends got sexually harassed and I handled it all wrong. You know what I did? I stayed friendly with…

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Stuff my Husband Loses

September 12, 2018

Joe loses his keys constantly. And his wallet. And sometimes his phone. It’s hilarious. Except that whenever this happens, he turns into a vile, snarling, doom-creature and stomps around the house yelling that his keys/wallet/phone are missing … and that is usually followed up by some blanket declarations about how we need PLACES to put…

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Hookers are the Only Consummate Professionals

August 10, 2018

Note to everyone in the whole world: If you’re ever asked to give a recommendation, do not say that someone is a consummate professional. Everyone says this. Everyone. If you’re recommending someone, of course you think they’re really good at being professional in whatever field you’re in. Otherwise, why are you bothering? The bar of…

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Me, taking a terrible selfie while blogging in bed

Insomnia is my Kryptonite

August 1, 2018

I challenge you to name three things that are more annoying than having your shorts crawl up between your thighs while you’re walking down the street to go to a coffee shop … and then having to try to arrest the crawl-up by changing your gait. Like you try to have your thigh meat sort…

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Dr. Tobias Colon Cleanse

Pooping Out a Blog Post … Not Quite Literally, but Almost

July 24, 2018

Today was the first full day back from vacation. Do I have to just stop vacation eating? Because I gotta say, I was thoroughly enjoying eating with abandon for an entire week. Like, right now I want pizza for dinner. A lot of it. We had pizza twice on vacation. But now I want it…

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About Me

TrishNewHeadshot150x150

Writer/blogger.
Philosopher/raconteur.
New-age smartass.

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