Red double-decker bus toy

Unpopular Opinion: Grandparents Should Not Write Amazon Reviews

December 16, 2018

Hi grandparents! We love you! We love that you enrich our lives and our children’s lives! You’re the best! Except for your Amazon reviews about stuff you bought your grandchildren. Because they all sound like this: “I bought this for my grandson and he loved it!” “Birthday gift for my gift for my granddaughter. She…

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A Big Life Announcement

December 13, 2018

Sometimes in life, opportunities appear in unexpected places. A job, a home, or a life partner you never would’ve picked for yourself suddenly enters your orbit and BOOM! You know you have to say yes. Your life trajectory takes a turn. There’s no looking back. With that in mind, I’d like to announce that I…

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The Best Holiday Cookie That I Cannot Stop Eating (SEND HELP)

December 10, 2018

We made hundreds of cookies this weekend. I am not exaggerating. HUNDREDS. All of a sudden, Weight Watchers feels so much harder. Have I mentioned that I joined? Right before Halloween. Despite cheating literally every single week, I’m down 5.5 pounds. My plan is to move at a snail’s pace for the rest of the…

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Zen and Teenagers Do Not Mix

December 8, 2018

I‘ve recently decided to let go of being the laundry police for the preteens and teens in this house. If people don’t put their clothes away … whatever. That’s on them. My only rule is this: You must return all laundry baskets from your room before I will do more laundry for you. This felt…

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Someone who is not Gwyneth Paltrow doing yoga

10 Things Gwyneth Paltrow Copied From Me

December 7, 2018

Have you heard? Gwyneth Paltrow claims that she is the reason so many people do yoga. May I quote? I must: “Forgive me if this comes out wrong,” Paltrow continued, “but I went to do a yoga class in L.A. recently and the 22-year-old girl behind the counter was like, ‘Have you ever done yoga…

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National Mom’s Day Off is December 26th! What Are You Going to Do?

November 26, 2018

The calendar is a bitch over the holidays, amiright? You know what would make things way better? If you made the calendar your bitch instead. And that, ladies, is exactly what I’ve done. This year, I cordially invite you to set aside December 26th to celebrate National Mom’s Day Off. This is a totally-made-up holiday…

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About Me


New-age smartass.

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