The heart of the ocean

July 14, 2010

Oh, enough already. I’ve semi-written 3 blogs in the past week and none of them are gellin’. (Is it jellin’? Whatever.) I can’t keep a coherent thought train on the tracks. So just consider this blog a big bunch of random crap. It’s like leftover night. There will be some good stuff, some bad stuff,…

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This is my sexy face…

June 30, 2010

Update: This blog probably doesn’t make sense anymore since I changed the photo. But since this blog rarely makes sense I’m not going to worry too much about it. If you want to see the photo I’m referring to, it’s on my “fan” page. While you’re there, you can “fan” me. Incentive: Once I get…

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Don’t know much about Jack

June 22, 2010

OK, confession time. Shhhh. Lean in real close, would you…? Anyone looking? Here’s the thing: I, uh, really don’t know how to be single. I don’t know how in such a massively huge way that as I’m sitting here typing this I’m on the verge of hysterical laughter because I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT THE HELL…

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When you’re walking through hell, don’t stop

June 21, 2010

Dear Hallmark: I’ve found an untapped market for you — Father’s Day cards to men from the women who are in the middle of divorcing them.  They don’t even have to be bitchy or anything. Maybe something along the lines of, “Hey! Thanks for making those little people with me. They turned out pretty nice,…

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The D-word. Yeah, that one.

June 17, 2010

Divorce. No one wants to say it. People find out that you’re having problems and they talk around the issue so they don’t have to use the word. I talked around it, too. I said “splitting up,” “if things don’t work out…,” etc. Then when someone finally says it they whisper it, like that scene in St. Elmo’s fire…

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If life were a rock show…

May 13, 2010

… would you bring extra undies to throw onstage or would you just remove the ones you were wearing? Good lord, one sentence into this blog and I’m already talking underpants. I am the trashiest of philosophers, apparently. All right, little blogmuffins, I’ve been neglecting you. Life is kicking my ass right now so I…

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About Me


New-age smartass.

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