I thought I invented a word the other day and I was so excited. The word is jackhole. (It’s all class here, folks.) But I was just catching up on some horrible TV that I DVRed last night (which may or may not have had something to do with the phrase “Real Housewives”) and guess…Read More
A few weeks ago I was in the car going over a bridge when I saw two deer legs sticking straight up, reaching toward heaven. Where was the rest of the deer, you might ask? If you really, really must know, it was plowed into the snowbank on the side of the bridge. Makes you…Read More
A facebook buddy of mine just joined the gym. She is reporting all of those mixed-gym feelings I always get when I go through a gym spurt — trying to feel motivated and proud but also feeling like I’m giving a presentation to my colleagues and I neglected to put on pants first. Gym anxiety can be tough…Read More
Last night I lived out a childhood fantasy. At a young age, my mom indoctrinated my sisters and I to movie musicals. Every Christmas we gathered round the tube to watch Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney in White Christmas — all the while wondering why such a beautiful young woman would ever fall for such…Read More
Oh, Cabin Fever. You are a clingy beast. You already destroyed my January with all the various illnesses around here. You even went so far as to go after my birthday. Now I tell you this: YOU WILL NOT HAVE MY FEBRUARY! Cabin Fever, you might as well be a snake oil salesmen with all…Read More
Dear Gay People of America, I want to give you some advice as a friend and a long-time supporter of the gay community: Think twice before you push this marriage thing too far. Because you just might get what you ask for. Here’s the thing: You’re already losing your novelty. There was a time when, if…Read More
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