Date Archives October 2010

Hey there, Mr. Cosmic Soulmate Lover Man

Oh, everybody is an expert. You married folk. You know it all, doncha? I used to know it all, too. Let me tell you something, people. This single-person world out here? It has changed a lot since most of you were in it. Sure, the whole online dating thing has been around for a while now — and when I was married that’s something I always said I’d do when, I mean if, I found myself single again. But there’s also facebook, which is a massive blessing to the single… Read More

Daddy issues

I grew up in a house with a man who didn’t know how to love me. Then I grew up and I married another one. Daddy issues are no joke. Today I put my darling little Benjamin in a barn jacket to take him to daycare. My dad used to have a coat like that, too. In fact, for the last few years he was alive, I don’t know that I ever saw him in another jacket. A lot of people have barn jackets. I had one. Probably everyone in… Read More

What will the neighbors say?

I got my ass reamed tonight. The phone rang and by the time I hung it up 20 minutes later, my ear was chewed off and bleeding. There were a lot of nasty things said and the person on the other end of the line was mad, mad, mad at me. And I was mad, mad, mad right back, because I felt that she took some seriously low blows. I hung up the phone and was finishing cooking dinner, crying all the while (because I do that when I’m angry) and thinking,… Read More

Is it hippie or hippy? It’s probably both

I started writing this one earlier in the week but I kept getting derailed by at least two of the following three things: kids with lingering fevers who just wanted to sit on me all day, deadlines that would just not go the hell away, and/or hot, late-night phone sex with mysterious gentlemen who use phrases like “vim and vigor.” Please write your guesses in the comment area and send them to me. If you guess “phone sex,” feel free to be as descriptive as possible. I’ll take my thrills where I… Read More