Life
He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Steve Holt! No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Marry me. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’m a monster. Army had half a day. I don’t criticize…
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He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Steve Holt! No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Marry me. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’m a monster. Army had half a day. I don’t criticize…
Read More
He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want this thing smelling like fish. Steve Holt! No! I was ashamed to be SEEN with you. I like being with you. Marry me. It’s called ‘taking advantage.’ It’s what gets you ahead in life. I’m a monster. Army had half a day. I don’t criticize…
Read MoreAll I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.
Read MoreYou’ve swallowed a planet! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!
Read MoreJohn : Hey there, how you doing? Mary : Aye, matey! John : Huh?
Read MoreAbout Me
Writer/blogger.
Philosopher/raconteur.
New-age smartass.
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