A love letter to my weird little town

Posted By on Feb 17, 2015 | 0 comments


I often describe my town as “quirky” and “artsy.” However, there can be a lot of push and pull between the people who have lived here forever and who are immediately horrified by any changes to what they consider established institutions (basically anything they grew up with), and the “newbies” who envision a future P-ville as a progressive enclave out here in the wilds of Chester County, Pennsylvania.

Nowhere is this power struggle more apparent than on the unofficial town Facebook page, where even the most innocuous of comments or observations can somehow start the equivalent of a social media fistfight.

My favorite was a post that said something like “Anyone know where I can get breakfast on Thanksgiving morning?” That poor question asker was assailed as anti-American for the mere suggestion that he not spend the day at home in quiet contemplation of his freedom and that he was pissing all over our forefathers’ graves by insisting that someone show up to work on a national holiday for the privilege of slinging his scrambled eggs.

Then the pendulum swung the other way, with some bleeding heart [who wasn’t me] pointing out that not everyone has family and many people may be spending the holiday alone. And then a waitress chimed in explaining that she appreciates people eating out on holidays, because otherwise she loses a day’s pay.

And then I’m pretty sure everyone met downtown behind the Colonial Theatre and beat the shite out of each other (hopefully after a raucous dance number involving lots of snapping in unison).

Tonight, one guy just nailed the spirit of our humble little Facebook page. He posted a question about a local cheesesteak joint that everyone thinks is great. He disagrees. And then he finished his post by saying “Let’s discuss like the bunch of dickheads we are.”

All hail Phoenixville, bitches. If you’re reading this, you could be home by now. 😉

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