It’s election day, bitches! Woo hoo! Let’s paint our boobies red, white and blue and drink beer in the parking lots of our local elementary schools!
Party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!
Or something like that …
I usually spend this night in a terrible, intestine-twisting, hand-wringing fervor, pacing from living room to kitchen, kitchen to living room, calling various other election-nerds in my life to analyze what the fucking fuck is going on when the exit poll results don’t match the actual voting returns … and what if? What if? What if the worst happens?
What THEN???? For the love of all things holy and holey (I’m talkin’ to you, women), WHAT THEN??????????
I just can’t do it to myself tonight. I cannot. I won’t put myself through it.
There is much at stake. I am worried. But me sitting here turning myself into wild-eyed, frenzied mess isn’t going to help anyone.
I need to take it down a notch — or five hundred million notches.
Therefore, today, my daily offering of gratitude is for perspective.
Because no matter what happens later tonight (or later this week, more likely) …
… at least it won’t be this guy.
For that, I am truly grateful.