If you want to know if I took a half an hour of precious work-at-home time today to attempt to make a much-craved pumpkin pie, I did not.

If you want to know if I then ruined the entire thing by dumping too much salt into the mix because the lid wasn’t properly secured to the salt shaker, I also did not do that.

If you were curious about whether I then I spent about 20 minutes or so desperately trying to salvage the whole mess, I’m going to tell you this: Wasn’t me.

The ingredients that I didn't use.

Wondering if the back of my throat started to get that burning sensation one experiences after accidentally getting hit by a massive wave and then ingesting gallons upon gallons of ocean water? Let’s just say this: Nope.

Now I bet you’re thinking that if you looked in my Google search history, you might find something like “what to do if there’s too much salt,” “cooking disasters,” or “hot nude celebrities.” None of the above, people. None of the above.

If you’re also wondering whether I briefly considered boiling the pie filling with potatoes, because potatoes are supposed to be a de-saltifier, and then removing the potatoes and then trying to bake the pies anyway, I say this: Who? Moi?

Now, of course, the obvious question that I know all of you are thinking right now is this: Gee, I wonder what book Trish has been reading for the last few weeks?

While I don’t normally like to disclose that kind of information, I will at least tell you this: It’s not this one.

The book that I am sooooo not reading right now.

So now, let ME make a suggestion to all of YOU: Get back to work, people. Nothin’ to see here.

Hey, look. A puzzle. Puzzles are fun.