According to Trish

not worth reading since 2009


Cool stuff I found out about Prince


Posted By on Apr 24, 2016

You guys. Prince. Shit. What can I say that a million people haven’t already said? Well, I guess I could say this (which is what I posted on Facebook the other day): I mean zero disrespect when I say this, but I hope we find out that Prince died with a peacock up his butt or something. I mean, it’s Prince. [Also, to those closest to me in this lifetime: When I die, please shove a peacock up my butt. I’d like to make...

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Part 2 of my series detailing my lifelong struggle with procrastination: Let’s talk about ADD (Missed part one? Well, here it is, baby!) The first time I remember blowing off studying was in the 5th grade. I had a social studies test coming up. I knew I should study, but I just didn’t. It was springtime. I was busy playing outside and homework was boring. When the tests were graded, the teacher hung up the A and B papers...

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We all have that bottle of toilet-tank vodka, don’t we? You know what I mean … they say that alcoholics often hide their drinking because they’re ashamed of it. And according to every made-for-TV movie that ever featured someone with a drinking problem, the toilet tank is a prime hidey hole for hard liquor. That is, at least until someone needs to repair the toilet. Then, uh oh! Turns out Mrs. Garrett really was self...

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SeaWorld’s Tilikum is dying. I’m not sure how to feel about it. This post is weird and embarrassing. But so be it. My brain does this thing where every now and then it gets stuck on something. Usually it’s something random that has nothing to do with my life. But next I thing I know, I suddenly go all Civil War Re-enactory on it and I  find myself researching it obsessively. Then, yes, I’ll talk about it this thing too...

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The Death of My Writing Career

The Death of My Writing Career


Posted By on Feb 28, 2016

Once, years ago when I was married, we found mouse poop in the garage. We put out some traps and Voila! one day, one of the traps did its thing. Sort of. While it did, indeed, trap the mouse, it did not kill it. So the top half of the mouse was writhing around while the bottom half was disgustingly smushed. The mouse squealed loudly. In fact, its loud agony is what drew us to the garage in the first place that day. “We have to...

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Ever notice how water generally has little regard for the plans of people? The creek that carves a gash across our property clearly has no concern that it doesn’t belong in the middle of a suburban yard. The chasm it creates is deep and unruly, making any hope of achieving a regular-looking lawn impossible. But the creek just goes about its business, shooting a casual “eff you” to the deliberate landscaping of the...

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