So I’m back at Panera. My old Panera. The one I used to come to to cry and kill time when my ex-husband and I were separating so many years ago …
And why I am here now after so many years? Because I just dropped my kids off at the hospital — where my ex-husband’s new wife just had their new baby. Today, instead of killing time until my ex’s visitation time is over, I’m killing time until my kids are done visiting their new sibling. Then I’ll go pick them up and drive them home to our house, where my new husband of nine days is waiting.
Life. Is. Effing. Weird.
I remember sitting here — at this EXACT table (or at least in this exact space) when I realized that I was going to have to date again someday. That was just a little less than eight years ago. Could I have imagined then, when I was 38, that at 46 I’d be remarried and just getting back from my honeymoon and doing all this stuff I’m doing this on this very weird day?
Would I have thought that eight years seemed like a long time? Would I have thought that 46 seemed really old? Would I have been shocked that I authored a book about online dating?
Life. Is. Effing. Weird.
Right now Bruno Mars’s song “I Think I Wanna Marry You” is on. It’s awesome when songs line up with what you’re thinking — except this is especially hilarious because Joe hates Bruno Mars and I LOVE HIM (that is, Bruno … Joe, too, obviously). I just figured out how to hijack Joe’s Spotify account on his phone when he’s driving. I keep meaning to throw some Bruno Mars his way … I need to put a reminder in my phone to do that.
Just got a text asking if the kids could stay at the hospital longer. Megan is “in her glory” holding her new baby sister. I said sure.
Getting over here today, honestly, was a huge pain in my ass. I had to stop work before I was done. Now I’ll have to work later — and especially so because now I’m sitting here blogging. But my kids were soooooo super psyched to meet their new sibling. This baby has been all they’ve talked about for months. There were times I wanted to tell them that I didn’t need to hear every detail — like, yes, I know what the rocking chair in the baby’s room looks like because I picked it out and nursed my babies in it. But I choked it back. I’m glad they’re excited. If they weren’t excited, that would mean something was wrong with them. And if something is important to them, that makes it important to me.
OK, well, it’s time for me to scoot. (A friend told me the other day that that’s my signature line when getting off the phone. “I need to scoot.”)
Peeps … seriously … I need to scoot. Catch you later.
Just about to hit publish on this thangity when I realized I had to add another blog category: marriage.