Category: Random Randomocity
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Hold on to Your Coochies—My Review of the DivaCup
Dear male readers: Why don’t you do yourselves a favor and sit this one out? There are some things you don’t want to know. There’s a woman on Instagram who has a pic of a jelly jar full of her period blood. In the caption, she advises that giving your plants a “blood meal” is…
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Hookers are the Only Consummate Professionals
Note to everyone in the whole world: If you’re ever asked to give a recommendation, do not say that someone is a consummate professional. Everyone says this. Everyone. If you’re recommending someone, of course you think they’re really good at being professional in whatever field you’re in. Otherwise, why are you bothering? The bar of…
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Things You Should Not Do Today
Let’s be cranky this morning shall we? Here’s a list of things you should not do today: Come downstairs after rolling out of bed, give me the onceover (in my too-big jeans, baseball cap, and sweatshirt that I threw in the dark so I could take a kid to school in the rain) and declare “That’s…
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Lurching Greatly
There are things that I know. For example, I know that if I get up and spend 10-20 minutes journaling, I’ll have a better day. I’ll feel happier all day. My thoughts will be clearer. I’ll get more done. Yet I often don’t do this. In fact, I’ll go months without doing it. I have…
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When Bruce Springsteen is Your Coworker
I took some Somnis the other night before I went to bed. This stuff often gives me crazy dreams. Here’s a good one. I was working in the most dismal of offices. Gray, padded cubicle walls. Very dim lighting with lots of dark corners, like a dirty aquarium. Everyone, including me, was wearing ill-fitting pants…
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Fighting the bad thoughts
I’m sitting in a hospital waiting room. Not much sleep last night and then I got here at 6 AM to meet with my mom’s docs. She’s been in here a week after open heart surgery. She’s getting a pacemaker today and hopefully should be able to go home tomorrow. I’m having bad thoughts today.…