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Stuff my Husband Loses
Joe loses his keys constantly. And his wallet. And sometimes his phone. It’s hilarious. Except that whenever this happens, he turns into a vile, snarling, doom-creature and stomps around the house yelling that his keys/wallet/phone are missing … and that is usually followed up by some blanket declarations about how we need PLACES to put…
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Hookers are the Only Consummate Professionals
Note to everyone in the whole world: If you’re ever asked to give a recommendation, do not say that someone is a consummate professional. Everyone says this. Everyone. If you’re recommending someone, of course you think they’re really good at being professional in whatever field you’re in. Otherwise, why are you bothering? The bar of…
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Insomnia is my Kryptonite
I challenge you to name three things that are more annoying than having your shorts crawl up between your thighs while you’re walking down the street to go to a coffee shop … and then having to try to arrest the crawl-up by changing your gait. Like you try to have your thigh meat sort…
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Pooping Out a Blog Post … Not Quite Literally, but Almost
Today was the first full day back from vacation. Do I have to just stop vacation eating? Because I gotta say, I was thoroughly enjoying eating with abandon for an entire week. Like, right now I want pizza for dinner. A lot of it. We had pizza twice on vacation. But now I want it…
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Changing Habits One Vacation at a Time
Hey! We’re on vacation! It’s our last full day and it’s raining. Secretly, I’m sorta happy about the rain. I’m happy to have an excuse to sit around and be lazy and drink wine during the day and type things to all of you. Also, one of us (my youngest stepdaughter) probably has mono. Seriously.…
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I Didn’t Clean up for You
Hi. Welcome to my new blog design. It’s a mess. There’s stuff that’s broken. There’s stuff that looks WTF? But whatever. Here we are. Since my blog is sort of home for me, let’s pretend I just moved and you’re visiting me while my house is full of boxes. I’ll get to all of it…