According to Trish

not worth reading since 2009

Category: Parenting

  • Do You Stink at Throwing Parties? Here’s Help from Elton John’s Party Planner (For Real)

    If I were to sit down and make a list of things that I’m good at, I’d probably include: making dinner out of whatever is around being 10 minutes late to anything that’s not a work function, wedding, or funeral, and justifying why I should have cake today (there’s always a reason if you think hard…

  • The BEST ADVICE You Can Ever Give Your Kids: Don’t Procreate with a Jackass

    We try to give our kids the tools to live happy, successful lives. But here, I believe, is the BEST ADVICE you can ever drill into your children’s brains and we just don’t say it enough: Don’t procreate with a jackass. You can use different words when imparting my suggested advice, but I think “jackass”…

  • Party of Three No Longer

      A variation of this piece was published on ScaryMommy.com on November 15, 2015.   The early days of the “blended family” project   Sunday morning Benjamin came padding into my room — make that “our” room — around 7. “Mom,” he said. “I was looking out my window and I saw a … wait,…

  • The Power of Saying No

      I have a kitchen calendar that’s pretty much the nerve center of our home. The kids scrawl all of their activities into the proper date boxes — yes, even the 5-year old, who painstakingly forms each letter as I slowly spell whatever word he needs to publish on the family agenda. Doctors’ appointments, meetings,…

  • You won’t believe how [blank] this [blank] is!

    I’m so tired of all the videos floating around social media that say something like “Cutest [blank] ever!” “You won’t believe how [blank] this [blank] is!” “Don’t watch this without tissues!” Invariably, I watch these things and then wonder why I spent the time on something that just couldn’t live up to the hype. The…

  • Talking to myself at the end of a long day

    And tonight I ask myself this: “Patricia, did we do a good job of modeling patience and understanding for our children tonight?” And I answer: “Uh, no. No we didn’t.” “Can we do better tomorrow?” “I’ll try. But … they’re so whiny. And they argue so much …” “Patricia …” “And they never stop needing…